Many  jobseekers take worrying to a whole new level until they become obsessive about the impression they will make at interview. They fear they are not dressed appropriately, that sweaty palms will be a deal breaker when they shake hands, or that they will be found to be inadequate in some way. They talk themselves into a lather of “what ifs”. What if I stutter when I’m talking? What if I say something dumb? What if I cannot answer the interviewer’s questions?

Wanting to do your best and showcase your skills is natural. Excessive and unnecessary concern about things that may never happen is not.

I’m not going to add myself to the chorus of friends and family who think that all you need is to apply positive self-talk.

Instead I’m going to equip you with some action steps. Actions that once you’ve followed them, you will be able to breathe a big sigh of relief knowing that you have done everything possible to address the areas causing you the most concern.

• Eliminate perfumes and aftershave: Fear will make you sweat and get overheated and if you are wearing too much scent, you will be give off the odour of a walking bordello. This in turn will make you self-conscious that you may be offending your interviewer. You can eliminate all of that unnecessary angst and just put on some nice clean clothes and deodorant.
• Wear clothes that make you feel good. For women, if you try on a dress that you feel is a little snug around the hips, or that rides up as you walk from static electricity, it will be all you will think about all day and it will make you self-conscious. Men, if you choose a shirt or suit on the tight side then you will be constantly uncomfortable. Spare yourself the distraction of adjusting your clothes by choosing your wardrobe for the day carefully and considering the right accessories and apparel.
• Sweaty palms. Unless you have a medical condition that needs treatment you are probably just fine. But if sweaty palms is a problem for you, place a cotton face towel in your briefcase or handbag. While you’re waiting to be called you can give your hands a quick wipe while pretending to look for something. Often the use of alcohol-based hand cleaners will help too and some people even use unscented antiperspirants made especially for hands and feet. If you can conquer the fear, that’s half the battle.
• Appearing Stupid: Preparation is the key here. You will not sound stupid by being at a loss for something to say, as long as you have prepared for the discussion. Of course there is no way you can rehearse parrot-fashion answers to what people may ask you, but you can have an intimate knowledge of what is in your resume, and you can think long and hard about your experience and how your contributions have made made money, saved money, boosted productivity or just made it a better place to be. If you are prepared, if you know what you’re offering and can refer to your resume as a prompter, the chances of looking like a fish with no sound coming out is greatly reduced.
• Stuttering Most of us stutter from time-to-time and it is frequently made worse by stress. The best you can do is take a big breath, grin and start again.

Interviewers are not there to tear you down; they’re not there to find fault and embarrass you. They want you to be a good fit for the job so they can move on too! Above all they want to know you and what you are offering. Allowing yourself to get sidetracked by your fears is nothing but a distraction for both sides.

So follow these action steps and then relax and get ready. I think they’re calling your name now!

Good luck!

A #Careercollective article.

As the wind howls down the cold city streets reminding you of the folly of not wearing fleecy undergarments, you can always count on your humorous friend to cheerfully remark “Is it cold enough for you?” as you take refuge inside the warm coffee shop where you’re meeting for a spot of networking.

Yes, winter is a miserable, bone-aching and often depressing time and it is tempting to place your job search on hold, snuggle up on the couch with a DVD and think about getting a job another day.

Tempting yes, good practice? No.

Winter in Australia is an excellent time to kick start your job search. The business sector is working solidly without distractions, post-summer jobseekers are too busy to be disgruntled, and fewer decision makers are on extended vacation.

How can you heat up your job search and make winter a season that works for you? Here are five ways that you can keep up your momentum to ensure you are the hot candidate.

1. Telephone people in your network. Ah yes the telephone; a communication device that will allow you to avoid (at least for a while) venturing outside. Think of at least one person to call every day to advise that you’re back on the market and ask if he or she will keep an ear out for you.

2. Freshen up your resume. How long have you been adding new information to an old format? Years perhaps? Use your rainy day to research samples of how resumes are presented now or better still, to research professional resume writers to do the job for you. In preparation, rediscover performance reviews, testimonials, job descriptions and emails that will prompt you to remember some great examples of your achievements.

3. Establish or revamp your Linked-in Profile. Is it up-to-date? Does it indicate to someone searching for a professional with your skills that you are available? Linkedin is used by recruiters as a tool to seek potential candidates. Make sure they can find you easily.

4. Get in the right mindset. Winter can have a negative effect on many people; depression and inertia being just two byproducts of enduring endlessly grey days. For many, it is hard to ramp up enthusiasm and it will show in all your interactions. Consider a job search coach who will keep you accountable to your goals and be your partner in success. Start researching the type of service and people who can provide this service to you. Preparing yourself to last the distance in a job search, particularly in the winter months, can be just as an important tool as your resume or network.

5. Develop your job search plan. What type of job do you want? What industry? Who will you report to? What recruiting firms are you planning to contact? What salary are you seeking? What are your main obstacles to being successful that you can see? What action can you take to lessen those risks? What companies do you want to work for? Who should you contact? What are you offering that is more attractive than your competitors? Take your time to work on this seriously. Everything worth doing is worth planning for.

Following these five action tasks will heat up your job search and keep you occupied on those rainy day weekends. The ground work you put in now will yield a good crop of opportunities ripe for the picking come Spring!

I am a member of the Career Collective. A group of experienced career professionals who blog on specific topics every month. Look for our posts on Twitter #careercollective. Meantime, check out other member articles on this topic below.

Turn Off The Computer, Tune Into What’s Happening, & Heat Up the Job Search, @chandlee

Heating up the Job Search-How to Stay Motivated During the Summer, @erinkennedycprw

Light the Fire Under Your Feet, @careersherpa

Cool Job Seekers Heat Up Their Search in the Summer, @barbarasafani

Some assembly required, @DawnBugni

Summertime, Sluggish Economy Provide Strong Motivation for an Updated Resume, @KatCareerGal

9 Ways to Heat Up Your Job Search This Summer, @heatherhuhman

Getting Out From Under Chronic, @WorkWithIllness

Upping Your Job Search Flame; Be ‘Needed, Not Needy,‘ @ValueIntoWords

Is Your Career Trapped in the Matrix? @WalterAkana

Put some sizzle in your job hunt – how to find a job now, @keppie_careers

Summertime – and the Job Search Ain’t Easy, @KCCareerCoach

Hot Tips for a Summer Job Search, @MartinBuckland @EliteResumes

Heat Up Your Job Search: Avoid Job Boards, @JobHuntOrg

Heating Up Your Job Searching Skills: Networking 101 and 102, @GLHoffman

Treasure Hunt—Yo-ho-ho! Heat Up Your Job Search, @resumeservic

Dave the job seeker assured me he had prepared this elevator pitch.

“Okay!” I said, “Hit me with it”.

He began.

“I was born in 1969 in Melbourne Australia” he started. I went to school at Box Hill South Primary School until I was 12 or so, and then I became a student at Box Hill High School.”

His story continued…

….“So my first job was at fifteen where I joined as a rookie journalist and then I….”

and so it went. On and on and on.

15 minutes later he drew to a close and looked at me proudly.

“That’s it?” I smiled.

“Well”, he admitted “I’ve cut it down a bit for you because you know me”.

If this was an elevator pitch it would have to be one very slow elevator or the world’s tallest building!

As a person on the job hunt, you’ve probably come across the phrase “Elevator Pitch” and wondered what it means and whether you should have one. Briefly, an elevator pitch is a short, yet compelling statement of introduction that you can communicate in the time it takes for an elevator to get to the floor of choice. (And yes, you should have one).

Very few people may find themselves in the happy position of sharing a short journey with a top-level decision maker, but most of you will have an interview at some time in your career. It will be important to know what to say and how to break the ice, especially when you’re asked the time-honoured question, “Tell me about yourself.”

WRONG: I am a General Manager. I am 51 years old, my wife’s name is Margaret and we have three children, Samuyl who is 16, Mmarkk who is 14 and my “baby” Moon Unit who is 10. I have an MBA from Melbourne University. Um I really enjoy the football and I keep fit by playing cricket. I have been with my current accounting firm Messrs Find-it and Bill for five years, and before that, I was in the retail industry as the General Manager of Dresses ‘R Us.

The statement above is timed at 30 seconds. What have you learned about the candidate that is concrete and advances his candidacy?

CORRECT: I help businesses create prosperity by identifying lucrative growth opportunities. Most recently as General Manager for a large-accounting firm, I executed five acquisitions that delivered more than 7 million dollars in yearly revenues while retaining 98% of the customer base. Prior to that, I led an unprecedented change management program that re-positioned a national retailer as a leader and innovator. Would you agree that my experience is a match?

The statement above is professional, it’s concise and it’s interesting. It is, 26 seconds of wow.

Start working on your elevator pitch now. What makes you unique? What short snapshot of your experience can you provide that meets the needs of the job for which you are applying? It takes some time to work on this, so you’ll need to really commit to it, write it, rewrite it, edit and rehearse it. Make it sound conversational, deliver it in a well-modulated and interesting tone, and seek to engage your interviewer by outlining the key points of your candidacy.

Eye glazing or compelling and fact-filled?

It’s your choice.

Your heart skips a beat as you disconnect the call. A combination of nausea and elation hit you as you turn to your partner wide-eyed, incredulous.

“I got the interview” you say quietly as if by saying it louder you’ll somehow make it untrue.

As you grasp the reality, you grin and laugh. “I got the interview!” you repeat while performing a tiny jig at the kitchen bench.

Your partner laughs delightedly with you as she joins you in dance; two silly reactions enveloped in joy. “Yay!” she cries happily. “Your dream job! That’s incredible!”.

As you both lapse into thoughtful silence, she looks at you. “So, she says, “What next?”

What next?

The words seem to echo around you. You’ve never considered that scenario. Heck, you’ve been looking for a job forever! It’s all been about getting to this point—the resume so carefully developed, the cover letter, the networking, the blogging. But now, indeed, “What next”?

Like everything that means something in your life, you should have a plan.

Your references. This is good place to start as it may take a while to catch past colleagues and managers and find time for a coffee and a chat. Your references need to know what type of job you’re going for and you need to jog their memories on instances in the past that qualify you for this role now.

While you’re discussing these details, you need to ask. Is there something that he or she may say or recall that could hurt your candidacy? Now is the time to get this out in the open. If an individual has this power, you need to reassess… do you still want him or her to be a reference?

A few years ago, a client told me how a reference with a propensity for letting her mouth run before her brain was actively engaged, sabotaged his candidacy. To a question about confidentiality, the reference had replied: “John did really well until that incident where he was suspected of leaking information to the press. Of course, I never knew exactly whether he did it or not, but management sure thought he did!”

Suffice to say, if your reference doesn’t quite get what she’s being asked to do, it is time to find a substitute!

Google. Have you searched for your name on the Internet? If you see your last Facebook status or a Twitter comment sent at 3am when you were a tad tipsy, delete these items now. If you can find them, the new employer or recruiting firm will find them too. Look for off-colour remarks or photographs on Flickr or MySpace that you would not like your next employer to see and remove them.

Do you have a Linkedin profile? These score quite prominently on Google. If you want to push some ill-advised “digital dirt” that you cannot remove further back on the Google results, create a Linkedin profile. Essentially, you want to counteract any questionable material with a consistent, professional brand that instils confident and oozes professionalism. Recruiters or employers may have already checked the Internet, but just in case they haven’t, take steps to fix the situation. Whoozy is a good way to keep track of your online profile.

Next: Research the company. What do you actually know about your dream job? Do you know about the company culture, what they do, where their head office is, what they do make or sell, their history, their people? What do you know about their leaders? Who is their Chief Executive Officer? Are they a listed company? What do you know about their share price? If you cannot answer any of these questions, it is time to educate yourself. Interviewers are incredibly impressed when candidates take the time to research and show knowledge of the company. Google is your friend for doing this as well as Linkedin.

Have you been given the job description for your dream job? If you’re in a leadership role you may want to consider developing a strategy document that you take with you to interview. Show how you meet the criteria of the position and what you plan to do in your first 30, 60, 90 days on the job. It’s a smart, professional idea that sells and positions you as a problem solver with initiative. If you don’t know where to start, the service WinTheView provides step-by-step instructions for preparing such a document; right through to printing it out and advice on when and how to present it. (Ask me).

Dress to Impress. What do you have to wear to the interview? The old advice of wearing clothes one step up for the position you want to secure, is still good. Smart business attire never fails to reinforce a professional image. Make sure your suit is conservative, your tie is straight, your shoes are shined and if you cross your legs, the socks are not bright pink with Tweety Bird emblazoned on the ankle! For women, watch the hemline of your skirt (rehearse sitting in front of a mirror and see how much thigh is exposed when you sit comfortably), keep the jewellery and makeup to a professional day-time standard, and wear shoes that don’t make you totter clumsily because the heels are too high.

Are you well versed in personal etiquette? Don’t leave them wilting in your wake. Ensure no overpowering fragrances or after shave. Don’t smoke before you walk in. No garlic for dinner the night before. Be nice to be near. Don’t walk into the office slurping a coffee or check your mobile for Facebook updates, tweets or texts.

Finally, just how long has it been since you interviewed last? Consider investing in a coach who is expert in interviews. He or she will be able to advise you on the techniques needed to avoid self sabotage and interview paralysis and help you with the pitfalls of negotiating a salary. If you can afford it and this job means something to you, do it. It will be a worthwhile investment of time and money.

Have you done all that?

Take a big breath then, straighten your shoulders and put on your winning smile.

It’s time to get your dream job.

I am a member of the Career Collective. A group of experienced career professionals who blog on specific topics every month. Look for our posts on Twitter #careercollective. Meantime, check out other member articles on this topic–links at the bottom of this article. Please see other discussions on common job search blunders and possible solutions from Career Collective members below.

How to Stand Out in a Job Interview @heathermundell

Avoid These Reference Mistakes @DawnBugni

Unspoken Secrets of Job Interviewing Prep: How Your Nonverbal Presentation and Behaviors Impact the Impression You Make @KatCareerGal

Prep for Interviews Now: Snuff out the Elephant in the Room Later! @chandlee << not working yet

What Should Job Seekers Do Now to Prepare for an Interview @erinkennedycprw

Take a Ride in the Elevator Before You Interview @barbarasafani

Are You Ready for the Elephant in the Room? @WorkWithIllness

“Tell Me About Yourself” (Oh, Yikes!), @KCCareerCoach

The job interview as a shared narrative @WalterAkana

Prepare your references for job search success @Keppie_Careers

No Pain No Gain In Job Search and Interview Prep @ValueIntoWords

Job searching? Take a cue from the Boy Scouts @LaurieBerenson

Preparing for Career Success Starts with Interviewing the Employers @JobHuntOrg

Cinderella 2010:

Taking a break from hearth cleaning at home, Cinderella scours searchforaprincess.com when she spies the perfect role advertised at Prince Charming Inc. Seems the CEO, Prince Charming, is looking for a Princess to co-manage his kingdom. The successful candidate need have no actual experience in kingdom management, but must possess a demure smile, the ability to triumph over workplace bullying, a magical mentor, professional ballroom dancing skills, and a foot able to slip perfectly into a one-of-a-kind glass slipper.

Quickly, Cinderella completes the details online, clicks the “Submit” button and waits for a call from the palace. A week later still no call. Three weeks later, Cinderella decides that a career in hearth cleaning is clearly in her future. Her hopes dashed, she shrugs and continues scrubbing. Seems whatever Prince Charming was looking for, it wasn’t her.

Many job seekers are like Cinderella 2010. They see the Internet as being a quick and easy solution that will transform their job search dreams to a reality; no fuss, no bother.

Want to apply for a job you like? It’s easy! Just upload your details, hit the submit button and wait for the call!

Want to call a recruiter about the job or the progress of your candidacy but too reticent/nervous/scared to do so? Just shoot off an email!

Want to work for a company but worried that you will meet a gatekeeper who will not let you gain access to the decision makers? An email will take care of that too!

One of the biggest misconceptions about the Internet is that it made getting a job easier. It didn’t. It just provided a swifter transit for communications; communications incidentally that may not even reach or be read by the right person or people; as Cinderella 2010 (clearly the ideal candidate) discovered.

The fact is, human resources is a human contact business and no matter how streamlined the initial process of communication, at some point, the job seeker is going to have to get off his or her chair and be proactive; talk to someone, pitch skills and make contact. Take the risk of being rejected instead of hiding behind an electronic wall.

The amount of effort you invest is directly aligned to the outcome. Prince Charming, seeking to fill the position of Princess will not travel from door-to-door bearing a glass slipper until he finds you. There is a price for taking the easy way out in just about everything in life; the price you pay in the job seeking arena is not standing out, not being seen, and not being recognised as the right candidate for the job.

Adjust your way of thinking beyond the electronic wall. Pick up the telephone and call a recruiter, ask intelligent questions about the job being offered and get known. Raise your profile; talk with friends and former colleagues to uncover the potential for upcoming jobs so you can start making approaches before a position is advertised. Form a friendly relationship with gatekeepers who have the power to get you before decision makers. The way forward is in your hands. Remember, minimum effort yields minimum rewards.

Revised ending: Cinderella 2010. Cinderella 2010 calls the Palace.

“Hello? My name is Cinderella. I forwarded my details to you a few days ago and I may have neglected to mention that I may be the individual you seek. Specifically, I believe my foot may fit a glass slipper that I inadvertently lost following my last dance with Prince Charming at the ball……”

Has there been a freeway, bridge or major construction where someone wakes one morning and thinks:

“That would be a good idea, I’ll build a bridge! Fred? Hand me a steel pylon!”

No major decisions should ever be contemplated without a plan.

Many jobseekers make the mistake of failing to plan. They ride on a wave, spill from job-to-job, make the same mistakes and never rise through the ranks or get where they want to go. Like a wide-eyed infant, jobseekers totter, hands outstretched, falling into the first job that presents itself; in love with the idea of being wanted rather than analysing the strategy of their circumstances and goals.

So how does a job search plan work? Start by writing the who, how, where, when and why of your job search.

• Why am I considering changing jobs? Is it because I don’t like the people, the role, or the pay? Are the hours too long or do I foresee financial difficulties in the company’s future? Am I in a dead-end job?
• What will be my next strategic career move?
• Where do I see myself headed in the next two years? Do I want to stay in the same industry, do I want to transition to a new industry? Do I want to be one step up the rung higher than I am now, or more?
• How do I get to where I want to go? Will I need training, more experience? Will I need to get to know a certain person or group of people who can help me make that happen?
• When should I start to make things happen for myself? Could it be when I have finished my current studies and I’m on a firmer footing? Or, I should start looking into training courses immediately?
• Who would be the best person who could advise or mentor me? Is there someone who knows the ropes, or someone who could introduce me to people in my desired industry? Who is that person?

This is the beginning of your job marketing plan.

Next write down a new heading “What Do I Offer?” Under that heading list your “hard” skills. Hard skills are talents you have that are specific to your job. For instance Sales and Marketing Campaign Management may be a skill you have, or Channel Distribution, or Process Re-engineering.

Underneath, write a new heading “What skills do I need for my next career move?”

Research the next job you explored in the first section of your job search plan. What skills do you need to do the job well? Compare what you offer to what you need. What are you missing?

Use the information you have just learned to create your next section.

“Skills I am missing and need to have”

List how you could acquire those skills to reach your goal. Does it mean you have to do more training? Or get more experience? Consider: can I acquire that experience and training with my current employer? If so, would it be a better strategy to remain in my role and make it known that I would like to be extended through training or more responsibility? If this is not possible, where do I have to go to acquire this experience? Would an interim job that exposes me to a new industry or tasks be a better strategic move? Could an overseas assignment provide me with the leg-up necessary to span several rungs on the ladder?

By now, your plan should be taking shape. Review it. You will see some clear ideas emerging about where you want to work, the type of environment that allows you to thrive, and actions you will need to take to achieve your goals.

Later, you will need to plan who will create your job search documents (resume, cover letter, biography, website, Linkedin profile and more). Are your skills rusty or will you need interview coaching? Will you benefit through involvement in social media sites like Twitter, Facebook and more? Consider what will work for you. Do the research. Ask the experts. Form an understanding of what is expected for the industry and type of job you seek next.

This job search plan will be your career blueprint—a living document that provides a tactical plan for your career and lifestyle.

Don’t ask Fred to “Pass the pylon!” The bridge to a long-term career is careful planning and analysis and it’s an infinitely better strategy than allowing luck and circumstance drive your decisions and your success.

The other day I was sent the Word of the Day by a friend. It was Anatidaephobia. Before you race to Google it, I’ll save you the time. Anatidaephobia is defined as a pervasive, irrational fear that one is being watched by a duck.

(I vowed to get that into a sentence or a conversation some time in the future and as it turns out, this is it).

Seeing there is a word for such an irrational fear, it only seemed right that there was a phobia about interviews or interviewing. After all, everyone sees interviews as a sort of necessary evil; something you have to do and excel at to get where you want to be (the preferred candidate who is offered the job of your dreams).

My extensive research (five minutes spent on Google) yielded nothing in the irrational fear category for interviews, so that gives me a certain freedom to make the word up. I’ll call it multi-convo-struck-dumb-y-ess. Or Multiconvostruckdumbyness for short. (Let’s hope you don’t suffer from Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. Look it up!)

This irrational fear has been known to strike the most competent, professional executives with world-class achievements on the global stage just as much as a graduate seeking his or her first employment opportunity and all people in between. Perhaps the fear is because there’s so much riding on interviews being successful… the larger salary, the gateway to management, the opportunity to escape a miserable job, or the opportunity to work with great mentors.

Whatever it is that causes this interview paralysis I call Multiconvostruckdumbyness you can be assured that it needs to be something you learn to cope with and eventually overcome.

The natural enemy of fear is confidence. How can you be fearful of what people may think of you if you know your subject matter inside out?

• Start by reviewing your resume and by that I mean pour over it. Read those achievements time again so that when questioned you can rattle them off regardless of how your voice may wobble. People who forget and stumble usually haven’t prepared, so rehearse until you have alienated your partner or best friend and then seek out your parents and neighbours (as long as you don’t suffer from syngenesophobia).
• Remember that old advice about public speaking? The one where they say just to imagine everyone in their underwear? Well the jury is out on that one as that can be just plain scary especially if you suffer from nudophobia. One thing you can do however, is realise that most interviewers are as nervous and as anxious as you. While you dread the thought of being interrogated by strangers, most people on the other side of the desk would probably rather stick needles in their eyes than go through the torture of multiple interviews. Employers really want to get this done; find the right person with the right skills and the right attitude to fit in with the team. Recruiters too, are looking for a placement to get paid their commission. Most interviewers really don’t want to be there any more than you, but for them, it’s a means to the end too so while the pressures and expectations are different, much rides on them to make the best decision and move forward. By asking questions, they hope to find answers to their problems.
• Don’t over-dramatise the situation by using emotive self-talk. Notice I mentioned the word “interrogate” in the previous paragraph? If you tell yourself you’re being interrogated it evokes feelings of torture, lights being shone in your eyes, questions being fired in machine-gun fashion. This type of dramatic self-talk isn’t helpful in allaying your fears. Try adjusting it to something milder; for instance you are “popping out for a chat” or “getting together with”. These phrases evoke feelings of calm and friendly discourse. Let’s keep the drama out of the job search. The last interview you went to that didn’t work well was not “horrible” or “tragic” (war is horrible and tragic, not a difficult interview).

As with most fears, repetitive exposure to the fear will help you improve. So start sending those resumes out and accept all opportunities to interview. It can and will become easier!

And, like most of us, unemployment can be an even scarier prospect. Peniaphobia is probably something we all share!

A #careercollective article.

Every day, probably every second, someone will have the decision to leave a job made for them. One of those people could be you.

It may be that administrators shut down your company with no warning, or you are forced to take a redundancy, or you fall on your sword for a decision that never was yours to begin with. These are the circumstances where you have no time to reconcile yourself for change.

The first few weeks are a flurry of preparation. Exciting times prevail as you ramp up your efforts for employment. You investigate and select a professional resume writer, collaborate on the development of your resume, complete interview coaching, and start setting up your Linkedin profile. Your confidence soars as you see yourself on paper how others will see you—confident, competent; a can-do person with a portfolio of skills and achievements of which can you can be justifiably proud. You start networking. Just like everyone says you are supposed to do. Every day you’re calling recruiting firms, seeking out past colleagues and friends; a coffee here, a coffee there. You hear rumours of firms about to hire and you send in your resume, call contacts and get your friends to keep their ears open. You have a couple of interviews.

Weeks go by and with the passage of time, feelings of doubt start to invade your thoughts.

You mentally check off what it could be that you’re doing wrong. Your resume is fantastic; all the recruiters say so. Leads haven’t materialised; companies have decided not to proceed with projects or roles, recruiters are no longer buzzing around you. When you call them, they’re non-committal, cool. You get the feeling that they’re trying to brush you off. Your “better than sliced bread” moment has mysteriously disappeared and it feels like there’s always something they want that you don’t have. Now you haven’t been placed early, you feel a little like a house that’s been for sale for too long. Everyone who would want to buy it has seen it and has moved on to newer properties on the market.

You’re convinced now you’ve done something wrong. Did you pitch your salary too high? Is it because you don’t have enough education or you are “over qualified”? Did you try too hard or were you too laid back? You wrack your brains remembering your last interview in detail, going over everything asked and answered. What could you have said wrong? Why doesn’t the recruiter call you more often? He knows how worried you are!

Suddenly, without warning, someone you haven’t met before replaces the optimistic person you were. This new iteration of you is plagued with self-doubt, rarely smiles and looks like he carries a great burden on his shoulders. Convinced that your whole approach is flawed, you kick yourself mentally that you didn’t jump on this earlier. You call your resume writer wanting the resume revamped to make your appeal broader for a wider audience, you spend hours searching job boards. You feel embarrassed that you’ve “forced yourself” on friends and decide to pull back on those coffees. You can only imagine how pitiful they find your desperate attempts to gain information.

At home, your partner is concerned. His or her efforts to remove that look in your eye are met with a dismissive cold shoulder. You don’t need pity or your partner’s disapproving eye. You know you’ve failed.

Why even bother? You sit on the couch and watch the TV without really seeing what’s on. Maybe you’ll review the situation again tomorrow, but today you just can’t deal with any more rejection.

The scene above is played out somewhere in your community, your neighbourhood every day. The negative impact of a long job search frequently brings about feelings of depression, loss, bitterness, anger and often hopelessness. These feelings in themselves create a cyclical situation—who wants to hire someone with an obvious chip on his shoulder or one who carries his burden with such lethargy that a smile seems like too much trouble?

There are no simple fixes to what can become a serious problem affecting not just the jobseeker, but families and extended groups of friends who want to help but don’t know how.

While it sounds trite, maintaining a positive outlook really is important and action—doing something—is equally important. If you are doing something then you are working towards your goal. If declining finances are an issue, then staring listlessly at the pile of bills on the table won’t help. What action can you take to take the pressure off? Call your bank, perhaps the extra payments you have made on your mortgage can allow you to temporarily cut back on mortgage payments, perhaps your loan can be extended. Contact utility suppliers, make arrangements to pay. If you are doing something, you are occupied and thinking ahead.

Doesn’t your résumé say that you anticipate and solve problems? Well here are some problems to solve. What else can you do to take action?

Give yourself a break from the unrelenting misery. What can you do to give yourself a break mentally? Go for a walk with your partner. Do small maintenance repairs around the house. Clear up your garage. De-cobweb the eaves. Keeping busy is important to clear your mind and the fresh air will do you good.

Come to terms with the fact that people, on the whole, want to help. Go back to having coffee or lunch with friends. Isolating yourself isn’t the answer. If you’re afraid that your “down” mood will alienate your friends then listen more than you speak. You’ll never know what you may hear as they complain about their jobs and the current project or situation. It may be something you can act upon.

Give recruiters a break. Or at least, adjust your attitude. Do you know how many sad, desperate, bitter people they see in any one day? Can you imagine what is it like to break bad news every day? Of bearing the burden of hundred’s of people’s distress? Give them a break and back off. If you have information to pass on from your lunch with friends that could be a concrete job, share it with them. They’ll be happy to pursue it if it is exists. It’s called a lead, and recruiters love leads, making placements and being paid.

Don’t torture yourself by setting yourself up for failure. Have you been applying for roles that are beneath your level of skill just to get any job? Stop doing that. It does nothing for your self-esteem to miss out on a job that you could have done 20 years ago, and frankly, you’re not the person for that job any longer. People don’t just hire individuals in isolation with a set of skills. They hire for their ability to fit in with a team. That lesser job is probably being filled by people all under 25. Realistically, they don’t want “dad” in the department. You’re just not a fit.

Can you complete a training course that will help keep you motivated and polish up a few outdated skills? What is available in your line of work that will be helpful?

Keep to what you know. Don’t go on a tangent thinking that you should run off and get a job in a factory or join a circus. Unless you’re an experienced factory worker, you won’t get the job. Unless you have a background as a lion tamer or ticket seller, there will be no joy there for you either.

Remember what you know. The higher you are up the ladder, the longer jobs take to fill. It simply makes sense. There are fewer jobs at the top of the pyramid. The salaries are higher, people tend to stay in these jobs longer. Be realistic about this. You are a unique commodity. If you have been successful in the past, you will be again.

It’s all a numbers game and a waiting game.

Have faith.

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(Note: if you are having feelings of hopelessness and you are having dark thoughts, we urge you to seek the help of professionals. Beyond Blue is one of many organisations in Australia who can help. http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

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I am a member of the Career Collective. A group of experienced career professionals who blog on specific topics every month. Look for our posts on Twitter #careercollective. Meantime, check out other member articles on this topic–links at the bottom of this article.

Please see other discussions and possible solutions from Career Collective members.

@MartinBuckland, Job Search Made Positive

@chandlee, Strategy for Getting “Unstuck” and Feeling Better: Watch Lemonade

@heathermundell, Help for the Job Search Blues

@heatherhuhman, 10 Ways to Turn You Job Search Frown Upside-Down

@KCCareerCoach, You Can Beat the Job Search Blues: 5 + 3 Tips to Get Re-Energized

@WalterAkana, Light at the End of the Tunnel

@LaurieBerenson, Ways to Keep Your Glass Half Full

@resumeservice, Don’t Sweat the Job Search

@careersherpa, Mind Over Matter: Moving Your Stalled Search Forward

@WorkWithIllness, Finding Opportunity in Quicksand

@KatCareerGal, Job-Hunting in a Weak Job Market: 5 Strategies for Staying Upbeat (and Improving Your Chances of Success)

@ErinKennedyCPRW, Dancing in the Rain–Kicking the Job Search Blues

@keppie_careers, What do do when you are discouraged with your job search

@DawnBugni, It’s the little things

@ValueIntoWords, Restoring Your Joy in Job Search

@jobhuntorg, Just SO VERY Discouraged

@barbarasafani Making Job Search Fun (Yeah, That’s Right!)

@GLHoffman, How to Overcome the Job Search Negativity

@ExpatCoachMegan, Dealing With Job Search Stress: Getting to the Source of the Problem

Some people have a knack for walking into roles for which they are, on paper at least, entirely unqualified.

Passion and wanting it so much it hurts, as any failed Australian or American Idol contestant can tell you, doesn’t make it happen for the rest of us.

I’ve seen hundreds of people over the last twenty years, desperate to get into a new job with greater responsibilities and excitement.

Take for instance, the eager, young up-and-comer, yearning to take on the manager’s role, disheartened by failure to snare it, yet not understanding that it was the lack of years, experience and maturity that was behind the ultimate decision.

Then there is the Executive Assistant, experienced in the art of managing corporate soirées, Board meetings, catered lunches and more with flawless perfection, who dreams of an event management role catering to people in their thousands, in cavernous rooms with hi-tech equipment. Time and again, her hopes are dashed as she is passed over for other candidates with a strong background in event management.

Most people fail to face the realities of the job search. Think about this critically. If you were hiring for say, a Chief Executive Officer for a global financial institution, would you select the twenty-two year old recent MBA graduate as the person to lead this world-leading institution? He or she may have the knowledge of contemporary business practices, but does he or she have the wealth of experience and knowledge that it has taken to reach that level over decades? That is experience and knowledge that no amount of classroom training can buy.

There’s nothing wrong with throwing your hat in the ring and hoping you may have a chance (as long as there’s nothing to lose like relying on the dream to feed your family and keep a roof over your head). It is also a good value proposition for you to work towards your goals; to see what you have to do to get where you want to go and then pursue it…whether it is training or following a strategic, planned career path. What is soul-destroying, is failing to face the facts about your candidacy and then, like those failed American or Australian Idol hopefuls, plunge into feelings of devastation, bitterness or anger.

How do you stand aside and look at yourself realistically?

For a start, look at the job description or criteria for the position you want so desperately.

If the job description indicates that the successful candidate should have five years of experience in senior management and you have only been acting in a team leader role three levels down, then chances are that your application will not come close to being seriously considered. No matter how wonderful your resume is and how much you have achieved in your short stints as a team leader.

If the job description indicates that the successful candidate should be a senior sales representative with a strong track record selling mainframes to multinational companies and you currently sell wine to the local liquor outlet, then the chances of getting your application considered are slim. It really doesn’t matter if you fulfil all the other criteria of being enthusiastic, client focused, well organised and able to service important customers if you cannot supply the two key ingredients of the job — being in the right industry, and having a track record of selling a specific product.

No-one is saying you shouldn’t have goals. No-one is saying that you can’t make a strategic career transition to where you want to go, and no-one is saying that you need to stay in the same job or industry forever. Dreams can come true, but they have to be supported by pragmatism and the willingness to face facts. Trying to squeeze your skills into a space that leaves no room for growth or movement can be every bit as disheartening as stretching them paper thin to reach boundaries that are beyond your reach.

Being realistic about the opportunities available to you right now, and establishing a vision and a plan for how to execute and achieve your long-term goals is the recipe for hope, optimism and ultimately, career success.

Don’t tell me, because I’m about to guess. Your New Year’s Resolution to lose a few pounds? It’s been broken already hasn’t it? Sure it has! You’re only human after all! And that other resolution; the one where you said that this is the year you’re not going to destroy your health by running yourself into the ground with work? Remember that? It only lasted until the second day back from vacation didn’t it? And here you are again on last year’s treadmill.

Am I psychic? No. It just sounds like me that’s all!

So okay those goals perhaps weren’t realistic, or perhaps you didn’t want them as much as you thought you did when you were kicking back with friends and relaxing on your vacation. But here we are and it’s nearly the end of January. If you had a resolution to get a job, or change your existing job, or even to take your career to the next level, just what have you done about it? You created the desire at New Year, but did you ask yourself the question “How?”

First and probably the most important thing you need to get right in your head is “What do I really want to do?”
Seem obvious? Perhaps not. Some of the worst decisions we ever make about our careers are the ones where we close our eyes, jump and hope for the best.

• Don’t like my boss? I’ll just tell him off and just find something else!
• I hate my job! I can’t stand it anymore so I’m going to leave. I’ll take anything; anything will do!
• I’m just going to write a “general” resume so I can play the field and apply for a lot of different jobs. I have a lot to offer!

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard those comments throughout my 20-year career! And you know what? Without a plan, without a vision, without giving it some strong thought, these pronouncements are as useless as those New Year’s Resolutions you made that didn’t make it past the first week.

Some of the worst career decisions are made through a series of knee-jerk reactions. Hate the job, just leave! But where? What to? How do you know that the next job is not going to be exactly the same? Are you going to leave that one too?

What about giving it a bit of thought? Ask yourself… “What is it I dislike about this job? What specifically? Is it the tasks, the industry, the type of people I deal with? Is it the repetitive nature of the tasks? Have I been here before? Did I start this job because I didn’t like the last one? Am I forming a pattern here? Am I going to find myself right back in the same position again?”

These are questions you need to explore and examine. If you’ve been in four jobs as an Executive Secretary and have hated them all, despised the work and jumped from one to the next, then perhaps, just perhaps you need a rethink. What do you think you’d like to do and what steps do you have to take to reach that goal? Before you start jumping into the unemployment queue and end up at an equally depressing workplace as the one you have now, take a step back and examine what keeps going wrong and what you really want and like to do. You may find it a revelation if you’re honest with yourself.

Don’t have a plan in mind but you’re going to write your resume anyway because you need a job? If so, you need to rethink that strategy pronto! A resume is a marketing document. It markets you! Your skills appeal to only a small and specific segment of the employment market. If you’re not a qualified doctor for instance, you’re not capable of fulfilling that role; same with a lawyer, a cook, a tax accountant, an astronaut, an engineer or a horticulturalist. So you don’t just want a “general” resume to “get anything” because a great deal of the roles out there you don’t even come close to qualifying for. If you’re like most people, you don’t have a vast amount of skills that could be applied to a diverse range of roles. Most people tend to know what they have going for them and there are only a certain amount of jobs that they are qualified for enough that someone would want to pay money for them to perform.

So clearly this “general” resume is a fantasy. What you need is to channel your existing skills into a role that you have a good chance of being successful in and one that you like. If you’ve done your homework and you have come to terms with what it is you like and what you are good at doing, then you’re able to take the next step in your plan, and write what you know; target the audience you want to purchase your services.

If you’re getting good at this introspection then cast your mind forward to the end of this year. Where would you like to be? What would you like to be doing? If it is another job, what do you have to do to get there? If you don’t know, how will you find out? Could a careers counsellor help? Or could you search for training and professionals in the field who would be able to direct you? Sound like a plan?

The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that while the resolution for change is there, the underlying question of “How” is never asked or explored. And without the “how” and the processes for developing a plan to make it happen, those resolutions are forgotten in the time it’s taken you to make them.

Make 2010 the year you plan!

“A Careers Collective Topic” I’m part of an incredible group of career professionals. We call ourselves the Career Collective and we post once a month on a specific career-related topic. See all my colleagues articles at the end of this article. You can also follow us on #careercollective at Twitter. Let’s read what the other Career Collective members have offered on this theme!

Walter Akana @walterakana Starting anew – Tips for truly managing your career

Jacqui Barrett-Poindexter @ValueIntoWords Is your job search strategy a snore?

Dawn Bugni @DawnBugni Ya, but

Chandlee Bryan @Chandlee Starfish, JobAngels, and Making a Difference

Martin Buckland @MartinBuckland, @EliteResumes Career Trends and Transition 2010

Katharine Hansen PhD @kat_hansen New Year: Time to Assess Yourself and Your Career

G L Hoffman @GLHoffman A Flash of the Blindingly Obvious

Heather Huhman @heatherhuhman Job seekers: 5 tips for making the most of 2010

Erin Kennedy @ErinKennedyCPRW Advice to Job Seekers in 2010–learn Yoga?

Rosalind Joffe @WorkWithIllness Dogs Can Do It, Can You?

Susan Joyce @JobHuntOrg Lifelong Learning for Career Security

Meg Montford @KCCareerCoach The Art of Being Gracious: Much Needed in Today’s Job Search

Hannah Morgan @careersherpa The Year of the Tiger

Heather Mundell @heathermundell Kaizen and the Art of Your Job Search

Barbara Safani @barbara safani Looking Into the 2010 Careers Crystal Ball

Miriam Salpeter @keppie_careers Help for job seekers in a rut

Andy Robinson @AndyInNaples What are you getting better at? Make This the Year You Become the Best You Can Be.

Rosa Vargas @resumeservice The Resume and Your Social Media Job Search Campaign

Debra Wheatman @DebraWheatman Making the most of a new year